Blessings

A guest post by an anonymous writer, which will be an ongoing series. 

Please join us on her journey!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow; Praise Him, all creatures here below; 

Praise Him above, ye heavenly host: Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

It seems odd to say that many blessings have come from this experience, but they have.  At the beginning of this journey, I just treated it like "nothing".  I did not give any thought to it most of the time and went about my life as usual.  I was not open to the possibility of it adding anything to my life, positive or negative.  I was determined it would not affect me in the least.  That lasted a very short time.  I immediately was given many blessings, though I did not acknowledge them.  After all, what good could possibly come from it?

I was more annoyed than anything, about trying to fit in so many doctor appointments and the prospect of recovering from any surgery while taking care of my family.  With my (few) friends busy with their own families, and no family where I live, it seemed near impossible to fit it all in.  I was functioning as if it were just another thing to fit into my crazy, busy life with young kids and a husband who travels a lot.  That's enough to handle most days!  I did not approach the situation with much thought of it affecting me in any meaningful way.

Along the way, God has provided me so many blessings and I am sure that more will follow.

1. A peace that passes all understanding - I said in my first post that people have been surprised by how I am handling my diagnosis and the road that lies ahead.  This cannot be explained.  My MO is NOT calm and peace.  My MO in facing big (and even seemingly small) things is to think my life is over, get depressed, think about how unfair it is, get stuck.  That has not happened this time, and not by any willpower or effort on my part.  It just is.  It is not me who is doing things to have this peace.  It is God, gifting it to me!  
2. An opportunity to get healthier - I have trouble doing all of the things to be healthy that I need to do.  Since my diagnosis, I have seen the need to do what I need for future cancer prevention, exercise, drink more water, sleep better and eat better.  It is just the motivation I needed for change!
3. Seeing my faith grow - Related to the above, I was completely surprised by my response.  It has been like watching someone else go through it in a way.  This has allowed me to see myself more clearly and to see not only how strong my faith is, but also to see where I can change, where God is leading me to change.  This has caused me to seek the Lord, but also to see Him everywhere.
4. Noticing the little things - This is such a cliche when people face their mortality for any reason, but it is very true.  I appreciate things like the sun, moon, and nature in general.  I delight in my children even more than I ever did.  I see how much does not matter in this life.  My life on this Earth is temporary.  What does matter comes to the forefront in times like these.
5. New friends - I have found people who have become friends in many ways related to this diagnosis.  I have found people willing to help, listen or pray for/with me who have become friends.  I have found people who have gone through similar things.   This has helped me cope and has helped me feel less lonely on this journey.  I am so grateful!
6. The desire to have another baby decreased - After my last baby, we were "done".  However, I always still hoped for one more.  Since I found out about the recommended treatment of mastectomy, I have not desired for another baby.  This is because if I could not nurse, I would not want another baby.  This is a sad blessing in some ways, but I am very happy that my family no longer feels incomplete in my heart.
7. Opportunity to help others - In short, I have found that I can use this experience to help others.  This has already come to fruition through this blog, but also in other ways that I see I may be able to help others in the future because of what I have gone experienced.  
8. God speaking to me - Mostly, God has spoken to me about this experience in so many ways, whether that be a kind word from someone at just the right time, a song, a prayer, or a verse that comes to mind.  One of my favorites, which also came to me at just the right time when I was feeling fearful and upset over another experience in the past is 

Isaiah 55: 8-9 (ESV)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

This song has also been a gift. It assures me that God knows what He is doing.  He did not cause this illness. But He WILL use it for good in my life!

Read other posts in this series:
Maxed Out Minivan
To start at part one go here:
Part 1: Stage Zero What?