Sunday, June 4, 2017

Thirteen Reasons It Could've Been Me (but wasn't)

In my last post Thirteen Reasons Why I Hated This Show, I talked about why this show was not my cup of tea. Many readers may have thought "What does she know? She probably can't relate to being raped or bullied. She probably had a perfect life growing up." I am here to tell you that is not so. I had much worse happen to me on top or being raped and bullied. My ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score was very high, yet I made it through somehow and am a well-adjusted and productive adult.

Here are my 13 reasons why it could have been me but wasn't:

  1. Age 9-my sister and father both died suddenly within 6 months or each other.
  2. Age 12/13-all of  7th and 8th grade my sister and I had the nickname lesbian twins.
  3. Age 13-my mother remarried.
  4. Age 14-witnessed stepdad being arrested for selling marijuana.
  5. Age 14-my first sexual experience, never even been kissed, and I was raped by a boy I just met that day. The next day at school I earned the reputation of being easy, since I would sleep with someone I just met. 
  6. Age 14- earned the nickname "black and decker pecker wrecker". I made out with a much older boy and when he went to school the next day his neck was covered in hickeys. OOPS! 
  7. Age 14-I got wasted and was molested in the back seat of a car by a 7th grader.
  8. Age 15-Black and Decker guy had sex with me at a party immediately after having sex with my friend. I didn't know at the time and actually thought I was his girlfriend. At school, I was teased about "sloppy seconds". 
  9. Age 15-got my first real boyfriend, gave him sex and blowjobs willingly only to be dumped 2 weeks before prom. He took one of my friends instead. I spent 2 weeks crying in bed. Everyone at school still thought I was slutty.
  10. Age 15- had a one night stand with Black and Decker guy. The next day he went to school and told everyone I smelled like tuna.
  11. Age 16-I was raped for the second time. 
  12. I witnessed drug/alcohol use in my home throughout my teens.
  13. I was called stupid bitch almost daily throughout my teens.
This is not my whole story, just 13 things that could have pushed me over the edge but didn't. I don't know how I made it through all these events, but I do know I was not going to lay down and quit at life. I knew logically all of it was temporary and would be over when I graduated and that then I could start over. I am happy to report that I have a very happy life, 5 gorgeous kids and a great husband of 20 years!

Do you want to read my whole story? If so tell me in the comments. I just may write a memoir of my life. 

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Thirteen Reasons Why I Hated This Show

After a never-ending slew of people either raving about or revolting against this show based on the book by Jay Asher, I decided I had better check it out to see what all the fuss was about. I have to say I was not impressed.

In the spirit of the subject, here are my thirteen reasons why.

  1. Bullying does not cause suicide. Experts agree that there needs to be an underlying issue such as abuse and/or neglect or mental in order for bullying to trigger a suicide attempt. 
  2. Hannah is a mean whiny girl. She can be just as mean as the people she accused of bullying her, including the one person who cared about her deeply.
  3. The parents blame the school. I am sorry but the so called bullying Hannah experienced was so subtle there is no way the school staff could have caught it especially since she never went to turn anyone in. Suing the school will only hurt the students left there.
  4. Most of what happened to Hannah is typical High School bullshit. These things happen to just about every high schooler at some point. Rape is the only exception. 1/4 of high schoolers have been raped and that many to not commit suicide. 
  5. What Hannah did making the tapes is vengeful and vindictive. Leaving the tapes behind is cruel, just the same as the bullying Hannah experienced. To get revenge from the grave is not right. It helps nothing.
  6. Rape does not cause suicide. If it did, 1/4 of kids would be dead. 
  7. The suicide is too graphic. There is no reason to show Hannah slitting her wrists and blood spurting out. It would have sufficed to show her in the tub with the razor blade, then a painful face, then her dead in the bloody water.
  8. Alex's suicide is not a realistic scenario. Guilt about a list would not make him do that.
  9. This show should not be touted as an educational tool. It is more for entertainment if you ask me. 
  10. The beating of Clay was just too much. I do not understand why this had to be shown. 
  11. This show glorifies drinking and drugs. The show portrays this all to be a great fun part of high school. None of it has to be. High school can be a lot of fun without drinking and drug parties. 
  12. This show glorifies rape. Showing the rapes makes it look like a fun thing to do and may turn some boys on and give them the idea.
  13. This show glorifies suicide. Hannah gets so much attention, care, tears shed over her, and love after the suicide and paints her as a heroin, so much that some teens may fantasize about all the attention they will get if they commit suicide, and it will drive them to do it. 
There you have it. My opinion about this awful show. Tell me what you thought of the show in the comments.