I have seen the stories about citizens taking matters into their own hands concerning the children of others. There was the one where kids were walking home and cops were called. There was the one where a mom left her 9 yr old at the park while she worked. There was the one where cops were called when someone saw a child playing outside naked. There was the one where a neighbor threatened to call the cops because a child was laughing too loudly outside.
What is going on that neighbors have to make everything their business? Why are they calling the cops instead of speaking directly to their neighbor about the situation? I always felt blessed to live in a small community where parents look out for each others kids and if they see something inappropriate they might reprimand the child and then also talk to that child's parent. I felt that way until now. Now, not so much.
On Monday I caught my son climbing where he was not supposed to on school property. I asked him to stop and not do that again. On Tuesday I caught him throwing a rock at the building at the dance studio my daughter's attend. I asked him to stop and not do that again.
On Tuesday another parent caught him throwing a rock at the school building and climbing where he was not supposed to. She reprimanded him, but then, instead of telling me so I could deal with him she told the principal.
I feel this was unnecessary considering it was after school hours and no damage was done. I did not know anything about it until I got a call from the school Wednesday afternoon. I was asked to come and talk to the principal. I was not told what this was about.
There are several problems with how this all happened.
First, dismissal changed this year so that everyone is dismissed at different times, every five minutes to avoid hallway congestion. I can no longer just go get all of my kids at once. I need to wait for all of them to arrive at the parent pick-up area. My kids arrive at 3,305, 310, and 315. Parents are required to pick up their kids by 315. I was waiting one day and one of the teachers that were supervising the parent pick-up area told me it would be fine for me to just come at 315 so I would not have to wait and not to worry because the children are always supervised by the assigned teacher. Apparently, this was not the case, if they were outside doing whatever when I arrived on several occasions. I am assuming it has to do with who is supervising.
Second, my son has ADHD, therefore needs supervision when he has idle time to get in trouble. He has trouble with impulse control so he needs constant reminders when he does inappropriate behaviors. This is something we are working on. If I tell him to stop then he does it again he is made to sit. He normally stops because sitting idle is torture for him.
Third, why did the parent not talk to me about this so that I could decide what needed to be done? This is where I feel the whole thing just went terribly wrong. I pray, that when (not if because it will happen) her child does something wrong, the witness has the decency to let her know, instead if being a whistle blower and telling the school.
Now I want to address this mother:
Dear concerned parent,
Thank you so much for reprimanding my child when he behaved in an inappropriate manner. I really appreciate that. I do not, however, appreciate you being a narc, and taking it upon yourself to tattle on my son to the principal. Maybe it makes you feel powerful to get a child it trouble, maybe you think I am scary that you didn't want to tell me or maybe you just like to butt into other people's business. You will be disappointed to know that my child did not receive a consequence because the principal knows about his issues with impulse control, that he has ADHD, that we are working on it, and that he goes to therapy twice a month. She also knows that he was supposed to have been being supervised but wasn't. She was actually very nice to me about it, and worked with me to find a solution. I hope your delicate little flowers never do anything wrong, but if (most likely when) they do, it is my hope that whoever catches them will have the common human decency to let you know without feeling the need to involve higher-ups. If I ever see you again it will take all my strength to keep myself from totally going off on you. I may just go all Real Housewives on you and yank out some of your beautiful (fake) blonde hair, so if I were you I would steer clear of ever seeing me. If you do, I would suggest walking the other way!
Sincerely, a mother who knows how
to mind my own biscuits!
P.S. Keep this on your playlist as a reminder, it may keep other parents from ending up hating you!
So, what do you all think of other parents trying to take over our parenting for us?