Friday, April 17, 2015

8 Signs the Puberty Fairy is Coming

My 12 year old son and 10 year old daughter are both in the starting phases of puberty. Puberty takes between 2 and 4 years. In 4 years my other boy will be 12 and my twin girls will be 10, meaning by the time these 2 are done with puberty, the other 3 will be starting it. I do not know why I didn't think of this before but I am afraid I have set myself up for 8 years of hell. I will have 2 or 3 kids at a time going through puberty for the next 8 years. Let that sink in for a moment.

In honor of each year I will (likely) spend in this hell here are 8 signs the puberty fairy is coming if she has not yet arrived:
  1. Physical Changes- My son is enormous and has facial hair. My daughter is getting curvy and very leggy. I do not even want to know what is happening underneath their clothes.
  2. Attitude- A day does not pass that I do not get an eye roll or back talk from one or both of them.
  3. Low tolerance for siblings- Both of them yell at their siblings daily. My son at his younger brother how annoying he is and to stop it every 5 seconds. My daughter yells at her younger twin sisters to go away and leave her alone. All the yelling makes me want to run away, but hey, at least it isn't me doing the yelling this time!
  4. Spending a lot of time alone- My son prefers to spend all of his time on Minecraft and if he isn't on it, he is just sitting around. He does not play with the other kids anymore. My daughter stays in her room goofing around with make up, clothes reading or writing for many hours a day. The plus, they aren't near me with all of their attitude.
  5. Disappointment with life in general- As a daily occurrence I hear how horrible life is or how stupid something/someone is, how mean I am or how much I am hated. This means I am doing my job, right? Thankfully, they don't swear yet! Can't hardly wait!
  6. They know EVERYTHING- Whenever I try to explain things, help with homework or answer questions they act like I have no clue what I am talking about. I have started responding with "Oh, nevermind, I'm just stupid old mom." They look at me in a condescending way then I let them figure that shit out for themselves since I know absolutely nothing at this point. It saves me a lot of time for other things actually.
  7. Going on 25- I swear some of the things they say are so adult sounding, thought through and logical, it blows me away. When I look at them I see the man and the women peeking out from within. This is SCARY shit!
  8. Toddler type behavior- OMG this one is the absolute worst and I think I would rather be set on fire. I ask my son a question or try to get him to do a chore and he starts throwing things, pounding his leg, crying and screaming. Really? Chill dude! My daughter starts doing this growl/cry thing I can not explain, stomps, or flails around like a fish out of water. Drama queen! Wow, guys, is it the end of the world because it sure seems like it. I walk away and tell them to let me know when they are done. From afar it really is quite comical to watch.

I really hope that if you have not been through it I haven't scared you to death and that if you have you got a laugh! It really isn't that bad and they are both amazing kids, this is all just a normal part of growing up. It's really scary for mama though!

What sign do you see that tells you the puberty fairy is coming?