Friday, November 21, 2014

Morning Madness

I don't know about anyone else but I absolutely hate school mornings! I do not function properly without coffee and before 9 AM. I do not want interaction of any kind before both of these requirements have been met.

Because my kids eat breakfast and lunch at school all I need to do is make sure they are dressed and drive them to school. I require absolutely nothing else from my kids except getting dressed, I'm not joking. Literally nothing else! Still, it is near impossible to get them to school in time. I get up at 7, wake the little girls, and of course they cry. I give them their clothes in their beds (crazy I know), make sure they start dressing and I move on to my 10 yr old daughters room. After I have made sure she heard me tell her ever so nicely to get up, and I get a verbal reply (something like "but it's too cold"), I go downstairs to wake the 8 and 12 yr old boys.

On the way through the kitchen to go downstairs I flip on the coffee maker (because liquid energy) which I got ready the night before. I get to their room and their alarm is blaring and no one is moving. I think maybe they are dead. I draw the blinds. I shake the 12 yr old (oh good, not dead), he turns off the alarm and gets up to dress. The 8 yr old is not so easy. 

I poke rub and shake him all while loudly exclaiming GET UP, YOU NEED TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL etc. No response, he very well could be dead. He finally wakes up and grunts but does not move. I can do nothing but more of the same because he sleeps on the top bunk. 

Bunk beds=Worst idea ever because there is not a way to get a sleeping child out of one. Bane of my existence, and I have 2 sets! Shoot me now!

He finally rouses so I go upstairs to check on the 3 girls. Someone is crying about pants, I don't know who because they cry the same. It is now 725, 15 minutes to go time. I need to take the 12 yr old to his bus stop in 5 minutes. The 10 yr old is now wrapped in a blanket sitting in front of the heater which she has turned up to 95 degrees (because, you know, money grows on trees) complaining how cold she is! Holy Lord get me through this!

I turn down the heat and tell her to get dressed NOW! I take thew 12 yr old to the bus stop. 1 down, 4 to go.  When I get back everyone is dressed and is mesmerized by a screen of some sort. Pure bliss! I finally pour my coffee. I give them a 5 minute warning. At 740 I tell everyone it's time to go. Every day someone screws up this going thing. Therefore we are late, Every.Damn.Day.

If it is one of the 6 yr olds they are crying about shoes or zippers, I couldn't tell you because it is indecipherable. Sometimes it goes on for 20 mins.
If it is the 8 year old he is still on a screen just "finishing" something. I take the device away and then he decides he needs all the outer gear ever made. He might freeze walking out to the heated attached garage to the van or the 15 feet from the street into the school.
If it is the 10 year old she had a last minute manicure or hair style she had to do, or a wardrobe change to make.

I finally drop the kids off 5 or more minutes late, just like every day. I am already exhausted even though I have only been awake less than an hour. It is before 9 and I haven't had my coffee, so still not fully awake. I go home, down my coffee and proceed to take a 2-3 hr nap!

This craziness in the morning makes me wonder how early people get up if: 
the kids brush their hair or teeth
the kids make their beds
the kids eat breakfast
the kids have morning chores
the kids still have homework to do
the parents need to pack lunches
OR 2 of the worst things imaginable to do in the morning, 
the kids have farm work to do or the family does a half hr of morning bible study!

I could not do any of the above! The school is lucky if I dress the kids in clothes instead of leaving them in pjs. Mother of the Year right here!