Friday, November 7, 2014

Mealtime Mayhem

     There was a time when I enjoyed cooking. It was one of my very favorite things to do. I blissfully made complicated expensive dishes In which my husband and I would peacefully enjoy with no stress whatsoever. Sadly, that time has passed. I now dread cooking. "Why?" you may ask. I have 5 kids, I think that says it all!

     Every night it is the same thing. I dread it and feel anxious before we even start the meal. The things my kids say and do make meals mostly unenjoyable, stressful and unbearable. It almost make me want to throw up my hands and quit. But I just keep trying in hopes that it may someday change.

     Some of their favorite things to say to test me are:

My food is touching (it all ends up in the same place later)
I don't like this (They have never had it)
I'm not hungry (They were begging for food 5 minutes ago and will be again 5 minutes                                                after I put the food away)
It looks like puke (makes me wonder if they have ever seen puke)
It smells gross (no grosser than their body smells I deal with daily)
What else can I have (This is it)
Why is it all mixed (Soups and hotdishes are a bust around here)
I want mac-n-cheese (every damn night)
Why do you always make this (It has been 2 months)
It's too hot (It has been sitting there for 10 minutes)

     Some of their favorite things to do to annoy me are:

Asking for anything they could possibly want but only one thing at a time and only after I sit down
Picking on each other
Getting up and running around
Spilling drinks
Not eating one single bite
Talking all at once

And my very favorite one, which my son does every night:

Getting up to go poop

This is why I NEVER eat with my kids anymore unless my husband is home for dinner. I wait until everyone is asleep so I can eat in peace, even if that means nearly starving and waiting until 10.

                    My Reply to all of the above antics: