How New Trauma Can Heal Past Trauma: Staying Present and Letting Go

A guest post by an anonymous writer, which will be an ongoing series. 
Please join us on her journey!

Can experiencing a new trauma heal an old trauma? I was wondering this yesterday as I realized past traumas now hold very little space in my life (hallelujah!). I even texted my therapist to ask her if this was possible. It seems strange to me that trauma can be healed simply by experiencing a new trauma. I am facing enough current trauma to work through to have to worry about old traumas, so this is such a blessing. 

I have had many traumatic experiences in my lifetime, the most recent being two unwanted cesareans and then pelvic organ prolapse after my traumatic VBA2C with my last child. These life events that once held a lot of negative connotations at the least and caused a lot of suffering at most seem so insignificant to me now. A lot of my suffering was caused by the stories I had around these events - who I was, how I failed, etc. My identity was tied so much in my mind to these things that I found it impossible to let go of them.  

As I thought about the REAL reason my current circumstances have led to healed past trauma, three things came to me - perspective, staying present and letting go. These are things I always had some control over, though this new trauma is what caused my mindset shift (prompted by the Holy Spirit). One does not have to experience a new trauma in order to heal from past ones. In my case, it was just the push I needed to change.

• Perspective - going through any kind of cancer diagnosis and treatment can drastically change your perspective on past and current events. For me, all of my past traumas shifted in my mind from devastating to events in my life that I experienced. They did not have to hold so much weight. They changed me and are a part of who I am, but they do not define me. Cancer has minimized my past traumas in my mind and the effect they have on me and my everyday life from debilitating at times to very insignificant in the scheme of life. 
• Staying Present - it is very difficult for past trauma to have a hold while staying present. I truly believe that much of my healing came because of the necessity to stay present while dealing with cancer. Honestly, I didn't have time to focus on much else besides taking care of my family. In this case, I was forced to stay present. However, I can always make the choice to be present, even when not in a situation that forces me to be present. Bing present has always been a struggle for me. I did not fully recognize the need to stay present nor did I feel like I had the luxury to do so. Now, though, I see the value in it more than I ever did.
• Letting Go - Letting go of the past is much easier said than done. I have not made a habit of dwelling on the past, but I have allowed it to haunt me and hurt me. I do not know what the method for letting go is right now, just that it is a very important step for healing. I am definitely going to do the work of letting go, especially in processing the trauma that has resulted from cancer. I have managed to let go of most past traumas, so I am confident I can learn to let go of these most recent traumas and any that are a part of my future.

I hope I can use what I have learned about trauma through my experience with cancer and apply it to my life so I do not have to needlessly suffer. I do not have to experience a more significant trauma for this to happen. I can shift my perspective, learn to stay present and learn to let go to heal any trauma. The Holy Spirit has helped me along this path and to come to these conclusions. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will continue to heal if I continue to rely on Him.

Mercy Me - The Hurt and the Healer