Preparing Advance Directives

A guest post by an anonymous writer, which will be an ongoing series. 

Please join us on her journey!

If you have ever had a baby or had surgery, no doubt you have been asked if you have advance directives. Advance directives are a way to communicate your wishes for health care in advance, should you become unable to make them yourself and regarding your medical treatment in circumstances in which you are no longer able to express informed consent. A Living Will is the document which expresses your wishes for care while the Healthcare Power of Attorney gives a named individual a right to make decisions regarding your healthcare and medical treatment. Healthcare Power of Attorney becomes active when a person is unable to make decisions or consciously communicate intentions regarding treatments. It also indicates a start and end date.

It may seem morbid to do this. I decided to do this because I have a fear of having a complication or dying during surgery. I am not afraid for myself, for I know where my home is after death. I am afraid for my family, should anything happen. I also do not want anyone to have to make decisions without knowing my wishes.

Anytime there is surgery or a situation that may, even in a rare circumstance, result in your being unable to make medical decisions, it is a very good idea to have advance directives. It accomplishes two things: 

1. It ensures that your wishes are communicated to medical staff and to the individual named as Healthcare Power of Attorney.
2. It takes pressure off of the person who will be making the decisions in the event of a need because your wishes are already known. It is a gift to do so, to the family member who will be responsible.

It is not necessary to hire an attorney to complete these documents. Many templates can be found online. I used eforms.com for a free trial. Once signed in front of a notary and notarized or signed in front of two non-family witnesses, they become legal documents. It is a good idea to make additional copies to be held by other responsible parties.

I want to also address the need to accept help in this blog, as it is related and something I am currently struggling with. Since the beginning of this journey, I decided I would handle everything on my own, and with my husband. I did not tell anyone about what was going on until very recently. I did not ask anyone for help. I did not join any support groups. I insisted no family come to help with the kids after surgery. However, that did not last long. People started offering help. I joined a support group, have a meal calendar set up, many people praying for me, family coming to help after surgery, a nurse friend lined up to come help me with my drains the first few days and more.

Accepting help is very hard for me, but necessary! I want things done a certain way and want my kids' lives as normal as possible. I am so used to taking care of other people that the idea of having someone take care of me or my responsibilities is difficult. I really didn't realize how much it was bothering me until today. The past few weeks several people have urged me to take help. Today my nurse friend and my sister who is a nurse also told me the same thing. My only job for as long as I can get help is to heal. That will ensure that I don't get an infection and can begin taking care of everything again sooner.

It also occurred to me that denying help would be both prideful and would rob others of the opportunity to help, an opportunity we are called to provide.

Romans 12:13 Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Read other posts in this series:
Maxed Out Minivan
To start at part one go here:
Part 1: Stage Zero What?